Christmas is Coming

So I was driving around town and hit a red light.  As I was waiting for the light to change, I noticed to my right that there was Santa Claus, driving a convertible, the flesh.  I waved and rolled down my window to say hi and ask Santa if he could really make my Xmas dreams come true.  As I was going to speak to Santa, the people on the other side of him, waved and wanted a picture of him.

As soon as Santa was done with his fans, Santa and I talked, mostly about being mostly nice (he stated I could be slightly naughty as I asked if Krampus was visiting me) the conversion steered towards toys.  Santa stated that Mrs Claus can neither confirm nor deny any such records of toys, which toys they were, what types of toys I was eligible to receive, and exactly how naughty or nice I needed to be in order to get such toys. 

Which after the light turned green, and I am pretty sure that I slightly embarrassed Santa, again it can neither be confirmed nor denied, it got me to thinking of what exactly is the threshold for being naughty but still being able to be on the nice list?  Is there a threshold?  As an adult, why do I care if I am naughty or nice?  And when can I just say fuck it and move forward not caring one bit?

And to be honest, I am not sure if I care.

The reason is actually quite simple. Usually trauma causes a person to think that something is wrong with them, or that they are bad in some way, that they are deserving of the trauma.  That the trauma caused the person to be “naughty” their whole life and cause them undo stress in the attempts to be “Nice” constantly. When in essence this is not the case.

People are inherently neither good nor bad but exposed to various things over the course of their lifetime that shapes them into the person that they are.  Nothing is ever the same thing to different people and so the same goes for trauma. What one person perceives as traumatic to another person it doesn’t faze them at all.  And so it is the same thing with being either good or bad. What I perceive as a good person isn’t the same perception as someone else.

So, whether or not you perceive me as good or bad, is actually based on your past experiences and the belief system that you have. Not my reality.

So I dunno if Santa thought that I was funny or not (I was trying to be funny) but I do know that what I perceive to be good is really all I need.  And what I perceive to be bad is also something I need to know.

Listen to your instincts, enjoy your life, and have some fun (even if it is with yourself).

Happy holidays to all of you!!