Does being told you were not wanted make you more unloved?

I was wondering that, as I was letting my pain from being told that I really wasn't wanted, bless that person, at least they were finally being truly honest with me. 

But did it make me feel less loved? No, not really.

The reason was because I learned to love myself above all others. Which in the eyes of others makes me extremely selfish and that is fine, too.

You see, that pain was not only from 1 person, but countless others, that told me I was only worth something to them if:

I let them waste my time.

I let them dictate how to live my life.

I let them tell me who to date and how to date that person.

I allowed them access to me when I did not want to give them access to me.

I let them have what they wanted from me all the time,

I sacrificed what was good for me to get them everything they wanted.

I felt what they told me to feel.

I let them ruin my dreams.

I let them tell me I was worthless if I did not have children or marry a man they thought would be good for me.

I let them go over my limitations or boundaries.

I let them decide what color my hair should be, what colors I wear, and who I consider a friend.

I let them decide for me when and whom I should date.

I let them decide for me if I should date a man they consider worthy or a woman they find attractive enough for me.

SO l each time, one of those people made a decision for me and I didn’t agree to that decision, they “punished” me somehow, socially, and I became my own best friend. 

Each time, I was sexually assaulted or raped, and no one wanted to listen to me, or help me out, or help me figure out what my next step should be, I figured out who I can trust more, who I can count on, and who should have another chance.

So when that person finally decided to be brutally honest, and tell me exactly how much I was worth to them, it did not break me (maybe they thought it would), it freed me from trying harder.  

Because you know what, it doesn’t matter how hard I try or what I do, they won’t fucking care anymore.

So the answer is no, I don’t care if you don’t love me, I love myself much more than you ever will and could.